With Christmas fast approaching I couldn’t help but remember last Christmas when I went shopping one day.  That day I decided to wear a red dress.   I love to wear red.  If I feel a bit low of energy or even the opposite, red gives me a zing in my stride.  This day I was out from work in my lunch break. I had so much Christmas shopping yet to do that I was feeling rather stressed out.

Walking with my head held high I sauntered along the street stopping outside a gift shop that had an array of items from homewares, jewellery, clothing and leather goods.  It was the week before Xmas so the shops were teeming with desperate shoppers with stressed anxious looks creasing their faces.   The sounds of Christmas carols and wrapping paper rustling emanated from inside the shop.   I went inside and slowly made my way around the maze of items.   I sensed another shopper close by watching me, a man.  He seemed to be following me but making out he was also looking for gifts.  He looked rather odd, long greasy wavy black  hair under a black Fedora type tall hat, black rimmed dark eyes. His pink striped shirt was hanging out over his jeans and an ill fitting charcoal velvet brocade blazer was buttoned once to his waist.  His feet also stood out in shiny black Winkle Picker shoes.  A sight for sore eyes!

A  little theatrical to say the least. He looked like he belonged on stage, his appearance  more like an Edwardian Vaudeville Tramp. I shook my head to myself and sighed.  Not long ago a psychic friend had told me my Aura was Silver which means highly intuitive, sensitive and I attracted people to me like a magnet.  In fact she asked me did I find that strangers would often talk to me for no particular reason or if you are on a bus an odd person gets on and even though your seat will be right up the back past many empty seats that person without a doubt would sit next to you. They would then have a run  of verbal diarrhoea covering intimate details of their life story and about several other people you had never met .  I had to agree this sort of thing is a regular event for me. In fact the other day I was rushing to work full steam and anyone in their right mind would have known by the sight of me running full throttle down a hill in heels that I was busy and late, but NO, not the crazy eccentric woman way down the end of the street that was calling out to me “look at her, pretty lady all dressed up.  What a lovely white outfit, where are you off to in such a hurry?   For Pete’s  sake, who is that strange woman  and what business is it of hers where I’m going I mutter silently in my head.  But of course my polite upbringing makes me stop and say ‘Excuse me?’ as firstly I thought maybe I knew her but didn’t remember her.  So I get stuck talking to the fruit cake for 15 minutes and telling her that I’m a Wedding & Events coordinator and that I was rushing to work to see a Bride.   This nutty woman would have talked to me for an hour if I didn’t interrupt and say ‘Sorry but really must go now, very late! Can’t let the bride down. now can I?’

This is my life, for some bizarre reason I’m targeted by odd characters constantly.  Another time I was sitting at a cafe with a male friend.  A limping man with a dog comes over.  He also decides to tell me all his dogs antics but also his own situation in life and that he was looking for a job.  He had an interview lined up and also full details of all the previous interviews he had failed. He generously told me every detail of his life.  I had to finish my coffee and leave the cafe to get away from him and I was scared he would follow me to my car even though I was with a male friend who laughed his head off at me all the way home.    I could recall countless similar moments.  I’m a happy friendly person but some days I purposely look at the ground when walking as I’m just not up to the facing some Villages’ escaped Oddball.

Anyhow back to the Christmas shopping.  I keep moving through the shop feeling like a hunted fawn then thought best I leave so I darted out through a side entrance feeling a little creeped out. Doing my best confident walk down the street in my red dress I thought to myself, well even though a very unattractive man had been stalking me I suppose it was good to to be noticed and I should be a little flattered.

As I walk down the street I let out a sign of relief to be away from the wanna be Alice Cooper twin brother, but suddenly next to me he appears!

“Excuse me I saw you back in the shop.  I really must tell you that you look absolutely stunning in that red dress.’ said Alice Cooper’s twin with yellowing chipped teeth and smokers breath. I’m sure some spittle landed on my face! ewe!

“Oh thank you” I smiled politely as I kept walking.  He jogged up again next to me.

“I would love you to lie down with me, can I have your number?”

At this point I had to look at him and throw my head back and let out a huge laugh while still walking and said  ‘Gee that’s a novel approach I’ll give you that much!  Merry Xmas to you too!’   I  picked up the pace and shot off without a backward glance.

The people at work laughed as they were used to these odd occurrences when it came to me.  I also couldn’t help laughing as I had never in all my years as a single woman heard such an original though distasteful pick up line!  I had to admit it was rather funny! It was Christmas and the crazies came out in all forms was my excuse.  Maybe he was an actor after all!  God I hope so.   I really hope he wasn’t just an oddball that had escaped his mental institution for his sex addiction!

Me in the red dress

Published by Seafarrwide

Love good food, events, writing and travel View all posts by Seafarrwide